Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in theperfectdoug's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
11:23 pm	In The End We Shall Have Had Enough Of Cynicism And Humbug And We Shall Want To Live More Musically The quote is from Vincent Van Gough A lot of people call me cynical or contrarian and say that i like to specifically go against the grain of things. I don't think any of this is true, especially that part about specifically going against whatever is popular (if something is great, i give mad props. Family Guy is not great.). I take a lot of flak for this from time to time and while i don't agree that i do this i can see why people would think it. I can be a bit of a buzz kill and i do tend to think everything you like is "stupid". We could talk all day about why i feel this way and what trauma in my childhood probably caused it but that's beside the point. This isn't about me. The worst thing ever is reality TV shows. Worse than anything else, ever, on earth, or in the known universe, in other dimensions, in perpetuity and for all of time. Reality TV is horrible garbage and if you watch even one episode of "I Want To Fuck Some D List Celebrity" then i am convinced you will never help the human race further itself in any way and you should probably just lie down in the street, close your eyes and think of Christmas. I think i finally get it though. After all this time, all of reality television has been leading up to this one moment. We have to sit and suffer through so much of this garbage because it was able to produce one thing, one bright beautiful shinning super nova of genuine emotion and passion. It took one human being and changed their life forever in a way i believe (and hope) will bring nothing but positive results to them, and to everyone around them touched by this. Of course i'm talking about this: FUCK YOU, I LOVE THIS! I don't care if that makes me the biggest fag (and therefore, mayor) of Fag-Town, this is incredible. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 16th, 2009
3:27 pm	My First Concussion I was hoping i'd have the opportunity to come on here and talk about my match Saturday night with Damien Vachon and Justin Credible which i was excited about leading up to the event but unfortunately i can no longer remember most of it. All i really remember was i did the "Ministry Of Funny Walks" from Monty Python with the Canadian Flag and wiped my ass with it, which i felt bad about while i was doing it, being that my family is pretty much Canadian. I remember the match wasn't very good, but we did what we could in there. I remember Damian Vachon was a really nice guy with a big bushy beard and a friendly smile, he reminded me of a nice scotty dog. I remember at one point me, Spike Dudley and Justin Credible were standing in the ring together and i thought that was pretty cool, considering i had grown up watching these guys. I remember other bits and pieces of the night, usually through the help of my text message history but this weekend is mostly a blur. Friday night is a COMPLETE blank. I think i was going to play basket ball with Mike and Josh and i think Mike cancelled so i played a bunch of Street Fighter 4 instead, but those memories are hazy at best. I have a concussion. It's the first real wrestling injury ive had and the first time in my life i've had a concussion. It's also the first time in my life that i can't remember a huge block of time, no matter how hard i try. The doctors say my memories will return, i hope they're right. Yesterday i was a mess, i couldn't remember anything. I kept waking up at my parents house and seeing the index card my dad had put right next to me. It said 3/15/2008, of course now i realize it's actually 2009, dad had the right idea though, ha ha ha. My parents clocks were also an hour behind so that kept throwing me off. I also kept the doctors instructions next to me too. Everytime i would see them i couldn't remember everything they said but i knew they were important, so i would read them. The first line is "You have suffered a head injury." Everytime i read that last night i would think "Oh yeah....". It's a good thing they wrote that because i would honestly forget. I remember Jesse and Anna talked with me and hung out with me but i don't remember anything they said or did, or what they were wearing or what we talked about. I remember i was hungry so my dad gave me some chicken stew with dumplings, I was full after only two spoonfulls. I was thirsty so i would drink some water. I later realized i had been drinking out of the same glass ALL DAY, only having one sip at a time. I thought i kept refilling the glass. I wasn't. It doesn't help that i had a very "surreal" weekend either. All weekend i saw people i knew in completely different environments than what i usually see them in. Brooke and Taylor were at Club Hell instead of in Framingham, Justin Credible was standing in front of me, talking over the match (in a way i just remembered as i was typing this that i found very funny) instead of on my TV, there were people at wrestling practice sunday morning who weren't usually there. I had weird memories that i wasn't sure if they were real or not. I remember me and John Cena's father (yes THAT John Cena to all my mizark friends) got into a shoving match. That seemed too weird to be true, but that memory was real. I remember a very pretty girl came to wrestling practice with a midget on sunday morning. This was also real. I remember i had started doing my laundry once i got to my parent's house, that memory was false. I was very confused when i got up today and saw my dirty laundry sack was still full.... Lucky for me i have good friends and SMART friends. When i started acting weird a trained EMT checked me out. Then they took me to a hospital. I have a vague memory where someone there asked me who the president was, i told them George Bush, i honestly thought he was. Someone told me, no Barak Obama won the election. I started crying like a baby right there in front of everyone, i was so happy that Obama was president. It was like hearing the news for the first time. That's a really good memory i'll have to take away from all this :-) I was taken to my parents house. I was placed on the couch in my sweaty work out clothes with a couple pillows and a blanket and i stayed there all night. I was a mess still. I would text the same people over and over again. (sorry Meg!) I would realize stuff out of the blue and be like "Holy Shit i had a CAT scan today!!!???". Every once in a while i'd see my hospital bracelet, it would shock me for a moment i couldnt remember, then the memory would slowly creep back in. Thirty minutes later it would be lost again and i would pull down the sleeve of my sweat shirt to see the bracelet and freak out again. Tim Pittman, Aimee, Pacifico and Kate came all the way to my parents house to see me. That was so nice and thoughtful of them, thinking about it now makes me realize how blessed i really am to have friends like that. Tim Pittman even brought me a Shamrock Shake! Through the night the Shamrock Shake became another makeshift Pneumonic Device for me. I would keep the cup within my line of sight. I would see it and it would trigger all kinds of memories. That i had a concussion, that i was at my parents house for the night, that my friends had come to see me, that it was almost St Pattys Day, that i love Shamrock Shakes. All very helpful when you're in the state i was in. One of my favorite memories was that Tim asked me if i remember anything about my match at New World, i told him i remembered it wasn't very good (which was true), i thought it was funny that even in that state i was still doing my old habits of looking at my bad matches and trying to figure out what went wrong and how i could fix it. They stayed with me for what felt like hours, talking about all kinds of stuff, helping me remember. I went outside when they left and the cold night air felt like the greatest thing i had ever felt. It's probably a side effect of the concussion but as i'm typing that i'm getting teary eyed because i think in that cold night air, with my head full of clouds i started to think clearly again for the first time. Looking up at those stars and breathing in that cold March air set everything in place for me again, just like it did when i was a kid. I can remember pretty much everything from that point forward. I didn't want to fall asleep last night, i knew there was a possibility i would never wake up. I was told the first 28 hours are the most important. Adult Swim on Cartoon Network kept me up all night and thanks to my memory problems i could watch repeats over and over like i was seeing them for the first time.Even with a concussion though, i didn't care for Family Guy. My parent's dog Muffin stayed with me, sleeping on the couch. Petting the dog helped keep me awake. Reading the doctors orders over and over again did the same thing. Seeing the Shamrock Shake and trying to think about what i had done in the past couple days kept me up. Reading all of my text messages in my phone kept me up and helped me piece together what had happened. Notes Tim Pittman and Aimee had me write down while they were there helped. We went over what had happened and they wrote it down. I re read that a hundred times last night. Finally all the lights went on in my kitchen and i knew my parents were down stairs. That meant Dad was getting ready for work. That meant it was five am. I only had a couple hours to go. My mom came into the room and wanted to know what i was doing up still. I told her my fears. She told me she would check in on me every two hours and wake me up. I felt confident in this and closed my eyes. I was out immediately. I woke up about six hours later. Completely alone in my parent's house. They had all left and no one had bothered to wake me up. I hope they were checking in on me, but the fact i had not been woke up doesn't bode well. It makes me feel like if something like this happens again i need to stay somewhere else.... The important thing is that im feeling better and better now. Every hour that goes by more memories pop into my head. Some of them seem to strange to be true yet they are. More importantly i'm no longer having any false memories, like the one with my laundry bag. Now i'm beginning to realize that while some of the things i'm remembering don't seem to make sense, that they happened and that helps a lot. The papers i got tell me that in time my memories will all return, when they do i'll be sure to go back and read this. I just wanted to make sure, for posterity's sake, that i got all of this down while i'm still in a slightly dazed state so hopefully one day i can look back on this situation and laugh. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 6th, 2009
4:10 am	Short Review of Watchmen, no spoilers I might write up something bigger and more specific later, who knows! What i wanted to say though is that the Watchmen movie probably does the best job it would be possible to do in turning the Watchmen book into a major motion picture. I think it even improved on a couple of places (ie Silk Spectre looks HOT. In the comic, she really never did it for me. In the movie, total hottie). The characters make a very good jump to the big screen and the actors portraying them do an excellent job with one glaring exception (after you see the movie, see if you can figure out who i'm thinking of!). That being said, seeing the movie is nowhere even close to the experience that reading the comics is. I don't think with the limited time allotted AND the medium they're working with that it would be possible to reproduce that experience. The other problem is Watchmen was a comic of subtlety which is a concept i think Zack Snyder has never been made aware of. All in all, the movie is fantastic. But it's just a movie. The book was something special, something to read over and over again, to reflect on and philosophize about, to talk over with all your friends who had read it and to try and convince the ones that hadn't that they needed to. The movie is just a movie. It's an awesome movie.... But it's just a movie. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, November 21st, 2008
1:32 pm	Sad Eyed Lady Of The Lowlands It's a song title. It's by Bob Dylan kids, look it up. I was just listening to this and just thinking about how beautiful the song is soley because it was written for someone, Sarah. (this is proven in the double less good song 'Oh Sarah' on the "Desire" albumn in the line "staying up all night in the Chelsea Hotel, writing Sad Eyed Lady of The Lowlands for you") This song is over eleven minutes long and is as much a personal statement as i've ever heard a song. The lyrics are practically indecipherable to anyone who isn't in on the couples jokes and history together. Yet at the same time it has a very universal appeal The song is beautiful if taken as a snapshot of the time it was written in and strange if looked at within the context of the whole relationship. When Bob was writing this he just knew there was a beautiful girl he was in love with at such a level he could write an eleven minute song which is nothing but lyric dedicated to her. As a listener we have an advantage over Bob Dylan because we live in the present and know that he is going to marry Sarah. They are going to have all kinds of problems which will prompt Bob to write "O Sarah" as kind of a "please don't leave me" note. We also know that eventually Bob and Sarah will have an argument and in Dylan's own words he will "Give her a crack accross the mouth, to snap her back to reality". There are also rumors he was beating her more than this one incident he admitted to (mostly because there were witnesses there). Does this ruin the quality of the song? I dont think so. At least not for me personally. But how weird would it be to be Sarah and hear this song now in 2008? You think she's able to just think of the good times? You think the next men in her life ever did something as romantic as Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands? (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 6th, 2008
2:00 pm	Everything You Wanted To Know About The Presidential Regime Change A.K.A. The Politics of Fear Hunter S Thompson once wrote on his facebook that: "San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run . . . but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant. . . . You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. . . And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting — on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . ." I kept thinking of this while i was stuck at work Tuesday night watching the results from the election roll in. It really did feel like we had done something right as a country. That enough people had finally gotten sick of this awful run we've had in the past 8 years. They decided to leave their cynicism at home, get out there and vote for a man running (primarily) on a platform of ideals. Using words like "change" and "hope" that i'm sure many of my contemporaries from the "Cool Generation" (name stolen from Chuck Klosterman who wrote "You know how the people who fought in World War Two were called "The Greatest Generation" well we're going to be known as "The Cool Generation" because that's all we fucking care about or know how to do.") have scoffed at and will continue to do so. Believe me, i am just waiting for the HI-lariously ironic shirts to start rolling in from hot topic. "Barack is My Homeboy" should be a big seller. After 11pm when everything had pretty much been wrapped up and decided i started seeing a new line of thinking appearing in people's myspace bulletins, facebook status updates and AIM away messages. People suddenly beginning to tout the end of our world directly caused by our new president. That his lack of experience and emphasis on raising the spirits of our broken country are all perceived as bad things are beyond me but hey, people are going to believe what you tell them if you're cool enough. The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back though came when i read someone who had written "i never thought i would say this but i'm going to enjoy these last few months with Bush.". Really? I decided it was time to calm people down and try to put this all into perspective. Bear witness to the greatest hits of the Bush Administration! In the 80's and 90's Reagan and Bush believed that supply-side economics would eliminate the record deficits in 2 or 3 years. By granting tax cuts (most of which going to the upper class) the economy would grow drastically. However even people WITHIN the two president's camps called policies "Trojan Horse" scams, designed to funnel money to the rich. By the time the "Reagan Revolution" or "Trickle Down Economics" was over George Bush Sr was running a record annual deficit of $290 billion dollars per year and the US was in a recession. When Clinton took office in 92 he reversed the previous formulas. Raising taxes on the wealthy and reducing them on the lowest wage earners. This is important to remember because this mirrors Obama's economic policy. And just like we are seeing now Republicans predicted Clinton's plan was the arrival of the Apocalypse. Bob Dole said the stock market would collapse and Newt Gingrich predicted the entire WORLD would fall into the second Great Depression. So what happened? Well between 92 and 2000 the US economy produced the longest sustained economic expansion in the history of our country. 18 Million new jobs were created, which was another record and by the time Clinton left office our country was enjoying a 236 billion dollar SURPLUS. At the end of Clinton's presidency it was estimated that his ten year budget projection would yield a 5.6 TRILLLION DOLLAR SURPLUS. Then.....Bush Jr took office. In his first days he skimmed 1.3 trillion off of the projected surplus and gave it back to "the people". This did little to boost an already robust economy. When running for president Bush promised to not touch the 2.5 trillion set aside for Social Security but by the end of 2002 the entire Social Security "lock box" had been depleted. Bush's second round of tax cuts in 2003 ran up even more debt, again with most of the money going into the pockets of the wealthiest Americans. Bush's former secretary of Treasury Paul O'Neil (NOT the former New York Yankee Right Fielder) said the money could have been better spent and this tax cut served as a means for political gain. Even President Bush himself initially wanted to reject this new cut when it was first presented to him asking "shouldn't we be doing more for the middle (class)?" According to O'Neil Bush's top aides (specifically Cheney and Karl Rove) got in his ear and pressed him to sign off on the new round of cuts. Bush liked to blame this new deficit on national security and the war but as of 2004 according to figures released by the Congressional Budget Office the cost of Bush's tax cuts is nearly 3 times the cost of the war and that includes money spent for Homeland Security and rebuilding after 9/11. Spending had increased to almost double what had been spent during the Clinton administration and in the end the Bush economic policies have left us with a future that carries a projected 5.6 trillion dollars of extra debt over the next six years. A turn around of nearly $11 trillion from the time Clinton left office. You might still be thinking "well where did all these tax cuts go? How come i'm still feeling the economic pinch after taxes being reduced by trillions of dollars?". Good question. The 2001 tax breaks were divided as follows: The top 1% of the Income Bracket in this country received 7% of the tax breaks. The next highest 19% of our country's Income Brackets received 34% of these breaks. Those making the highest 80% to 60% in our country received 25% of the tax breaks. People in the 60-40% Income Bracket got 18%, those making between 40% and 20% received 12% of the breaks and the lowest 20% of earners in our country got a measly 2% tax break. Can you find anything positive about that? If you can I'm impressed. Now BEHOLD! The distribution of the 2003 tax breaks! The top 1% of earners in the country received THIRTY EIGHT FUCKING PERCENT of these new tax breaks. Those earning the next 19% received 33% of the tax breaks, 80 to 60% received 14%, those making between 60 and 40% received 9%, those making between 40 and 20% received 5% and those in the lowest income bracket received an even more sparse 1%. Fantastic. Now you may be asking "well what WERE these tax breaks exactly?". A great example would be the elimination of the Estate Tax. The Estate tax is what you pay when a relative passes on and leaves you their estate. You only pay this on Estates worth more than 1.5 million dollars, therefore it effects only the wealthiest 2% of this country. Elimination of this tax will reduce federal revenue by $982 Billion dollars within the next 6 years. Bush liked to tell people that elimination of the Estate Tax would help poor farmers who would sometimes have to sell the farms left to them because they just couldn't afford to pay. However it is on record that NO FARMER IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES HAS EVER HAD TO SELL THEIR FARM TO PAY THE ESTATE TAX. EVER. What this tax was actually doing is keeping more wealth in the families of the wealthiest 2% of this country. This is a good one because it effected Bush and his cronies personally. Through elimination of this tax the Bush family stands to personally save between 5 and 10 million dollars. Dick Cheney's family will save between 9 and 40 million. Donald Rumsfeld's family will save between 30 and 120 million. Former Enron CEO's Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling stand to save about 57 million dollars each. This is another one of the Bush Tax Cuts that President Obama plans to eliminate. Which if you haven't figured it out yet means almost one trillion additional dollars back into the federal revenue over the next ten years. You can create a lot of jobs with one trillion dollars. Speaking of jobs as of 2004 (so that's not even counting the recent economic collapse in this country) the Bush administration has lost 63,000 jobs per month. This is the lowest amount since the Truman administration. The second lowest in that time frame? Well that would be Eisenhower's second term but he was still CREATING 15,000 jobs per month. How are we loosing so many jobs? Well since it's cheaper to hire only one person and overwork them (Americans are now working an AVERAGE of 55 hours per week) as opposed to two people (because then an employer would have to pay for two separate person's health insurance) less new jobs are being created. Also with no penalties (corporations actually receive tax breaks under the current Administration) for outsourcing it's much cheaper to hire that one person when they live in India, Taiwan or China. Well if all the rich are getting the tax breaks why aren't new jobs being created? Why isn't the money that's available "trickling down"? Well that's because there's a clog somewhere in this faucet. In 1980 the average CEO in the US made 41 times what the average worker in their own company was making. In 1990 the average CEO in the US was making 85 times what the average worker in their own company made. In 2004 the average CEO in the US was making FIVE HUNDRED AND THIRTY ONE times what the average worker in their own company made. Compare this to Great Britain where the average CEO makes only 14 times what the average worker in their company makes. Or maybe we could use that Trillion dollars saved through reinstating the Estate Tax on some kind of better health care system, considering that currently one third of Americans are without Health Insurance. And before we finish up here, some quick hits regarding corruption: -In the 2000 campaign Enron donated 2mil to Bush -While Bush was president of Harlen Energy his company used tax havens in the Cayman Islands to avoid taxation. -Haliburton (The Company which Dick Cheney is a former CEO) hasn't paid taxes since 1999. -Over 200 environmental protections laws were rolled back by the current administration in the first term alone, including the Clean Air Act. If you've made it this far i hope i've managed to educate you on some of the crap we dealt with in the past eight years. Hopefully you've come to the same conclusions that i have. Obama's "socialism", as his opponents like to call it, is really just repealing a series of crooked tax cuts made by the least successful President in the history of this country. The other conclusion i can draw being that things really can not get any worse than what we've been through. Really. Obama has nowhere to go but up unless he REALLY manages to mess this up, however i have faith in the man. When i said i wanted to calmly talk about our current situation and the situation of the past regime i lied about that too. I wanted a chance to yell at you. If you're reading this, you know who you are and you're an idiot. If you honestly believe that the guy we just elected is going to do a worse job than this moron we've been dealing with for the past 8 years then you are fucking stupid as hell. Go read a book you fucking moron. Read a newspaper. Go online. Don't watch an hour of Bill O'Reily every night and think you're informed because you're not informed. You are the worst kind of voter. I can respect the people who have no idea what's going on and choose not to vote. I can even in a way respect the loyalty of a person who votes their party of choice no matter what. I cannot respect some fucking tard who thinks they know what they're talking about. Because you don't! You don't know shit. Jack fucking squat. If i ever hear any of you mother fuckers talking about politics again in such a manner that it makes me want to eat a bullet i will go Incredible Hulk on your ass. I will expose you as the uniformed jack ass that you are in front of everyone present and i will drag you through the streets kicking and screaming while the rest of the world points and laughs at what an uninformed, high horse riding, dumb mother fucker you are. You vacuous mouth breather. You mental deficient. I hope our new black president scares the hell out of you. I hope you go to bed every night with the covers pulled over your head terrified that President Obama is gonna break into your house, steal your shit and rape all the white women he can find. Because whether you want to admit it or not, maybe even on a subconscious level, that's what this is really about. Racism. Fear and hate. Well this past Tuesday the rest of the country decided they were tired of being afraid and they were tired of hating. We're moving on, with or without you. So just shut your mouth, sit back, and enjoy as the quality of life around here improves. Oh and you're welcome. Because i voted for the right guy for the job. Ralph Nader. That last line was a joke ;-) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 5th, 2008
1:54 am	Finally a Celebrity Death that means something! Today Gary Gygax, co creator of Dungeons & Dragons, passed away at the age of 69. Gary is the kind of genius on the plane of Jim Henson. A man who created something he himself wanted to see based off of a composite of his favorite things. Their ideas never should have succeded yet despite conventional wisdom they managed to inspire millions. I was always proud to be a kid who played Dungeons and Dragons though i knew i shouldn't. There was something very magical about being a part of a subculture that most people would avoid. The social interaction that is so unique to the game that could never be understood by an "outsider". Gary Gygax is personally responsible for bringing COUNTLESS hours of happiness, pride and camraderie to millions of lives where those emotions may have been at a premium. We are all poorer for having lost him. D&D will always be a part of who i am and the culture that i choose to be a part of and i wouldn't have it any other way. I carry my d20 and PHB with pride! I just wanted to put down some of the comments left on the kotaku.com article about the death of Mr Gygax some of which are really nice. Penny Arcade also put up a really great comic about the man here: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic -Truly sad news. This man prolonged so many of us losing our virginity for so long, and now we'll never be able to pay him back properly. -The collective cry from basements across America will echo across the minds of its countrymen for a long time. - Without Gary I know that I wouldn't be the geek I am today. *21 dice salute* -Surely someone around here can cast resurrection, right? -Gaming giant slips the surly bonds of the Prime Material Plane to chart The Outlands and realms beyond ... -Today, the universe rolled a 1. The game will live forever. -So long Gary you will be *rolls dice*...sorely missed - Roll for grief. Perfect 20. :( -Unfortunately his character couldn't be converted to 4e. -The friendships that were built around D&D still remain. -To the man who taught most of the industry we love and cherish how to have fun, and for showing us that imagination is still the greatest source for enjoyment -Gary had a huge impact on the gaming industry as a whole. Even your FPS games are doing some serious number crunching behind the scenes. Hell TF2 even has Crit Hits! Wiki has a good full article on the man's life so check that out some time! RIP Dungeon Master (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 6th, 2007
2:50 am	They Called Me Mister Glass.... I just watched Unbreakable again after putting together my new computer desk and sweet fanciful Christ is this movie great! This is what i was hoping "Batman Begins" was going to be and instead i got Christian Bale running around jerking off in his rubber bat suit. "WHERE'S THE SCARECROW!!!???" Geeze, quit shouting you douche. "THERE NEED TO BE MORE SCENES OF BATMAN FUCKING AND THEN KILLING HOOKERS!!!" That's a terrible idea! It boggles my mind that there are people who don't appreciate this movie. You ask them about Unbreakable and they just go "M Night Shamalayn? No thank you. Remember that stupid movie, The Village? Boy was that stupid!". Yes i know, the Village sucked, i know Shabalaya has a hard-on for surprise endings and yes i am aware that the "twist" at the end of Unbreakable is inconceivable and non sensical (by the way they never really bother to explain how a man who breaks his ass open on a damn staircase was able to place those explosives on that plain. And on that building. Oh yeah, and he derailed a train too.). but look at the rest of this movie. This is the greatest super hero origin story ever put on film. This is probably the best super hero story ever put on film period. It has a few problems, a few leaps in logic but if you look at the whole picture; The story, the actors, the dialogue, the cinematography, this movie is just incredible. Just, you know, thought the world needed to know that. (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 29th, 2007
3:31 pm	A long, rambling, emotional yet still important blog There are a lot of things i have yet to experience in my lifetime and until this past weekend i could write "heart break" as one of them. I've been kicked around by girls before, like every guy has. I've had unrequited loves that remained unrequited and that's always painful. Through these other problems i never felt that my heart had been "broken". In my limited number of relationships in the past i've been the one to break it off for whatever reasons. While that hurts too, it wasn't really comparative to the pain i've been going through. Knowing what this feels like now, looking back, i feel remorse for causing this feeling in another human being, especially one i had cared about. "Heart Break" really is the perfect word for it too. Stan mentioned that on an episode of South Park. Something about it feeling like your heart physically hurts. There's a tightness in your chest and your throat. It's painful and i don't like it. This hurts. It's painful to really try to do something right and not have it work out. I understand that i've lived my life as an ass hole. I'm self centered. I feel better about myself by putting other people down. But you have to believe me when i say that this relationship was something i put my heart and soul into. I was determined to be a good boyfriend this time. I committed myself emotionally into this at a very early stage (probably too early, but at the time it felt just right.). I had this idea in my head that i would be completely honest in this relationship, i wasn't going to hide anything or pretend to be anything other than myself. This is more than i've been able to do in some of my past relationships. I tried this and it worked, which felt great. I really felt i had found someone who accepted me for my idiosyncrasies and i worked hard to accept them for theirs. I didn't always succeed at this and that was probably the biggest point of contention in our relationship. I know that was wrong now. Actually that's a lie, i guess it was wrong, i can see both sides of the argument. On one hand i don't think it's wrong to try and help someone improve themselves but on the other hand when someone doesn't want that help you have to just let them be. Yeah it's confusing but i'm new to all of this so try and bear with me. I just typed up four paragraphs about our relationship and realized how boring it was. The point is; things started great, we met in a really cute way, i fell in love probably way too fast but i was trying to be true to my feelings. We didn't fight for months then we had one. It happened, we talked about it, made resolutions to improve things and i moved on. Apparently she did not. The issues from this first fight begat other fights. She made little to no effort to improve things on her end, instead preferring to write off any issues we had as my fault. She refused to work to improve the relationship, refused to recognize the effort i was making and instead began distancing herself. Things were going great the past couple of weeks, or so i thought. I gave her the time and space she said she needed and during this time all i heard from her was how much she missed me and wanted to see me again. Then on Friday night at 3am after a night of drinking and talking with a friend of hers who doesn't like me (not that the feeling isn't mutual) she sends me a TEXT MESSAGE telling me she doesn't think we should keep going out. She then turns off her phone so all efforts to reach her and talk about what's happening are in vain. So i spend a sleepless night going over things in my mind and feeling that aforementioned broken heart feeling. I had a lot of anger build up in our relationship. I didn't feel i was being treated fairly but i made so many efforts to "see it from her side" of things that i repressed these feelings. When i finally got in touch with her on saturday i calmly let her know i didn't appreciate the way she had done things and i want to meet with her; face to face and end things that way. After much discussion she let me know that I wasn't compromising about a place to meet her. And that's when i let her have it. Months of unfair treatment, sadness, damaged self esteem and repressed anger bubbled up inside me and i let it errupt into the most hate-filled, angry 5 minute rant i've ever given to anyone in my life. At the end i felt great. Even today i still feel good about it, despite a few pangs of remorse here and there. I think i was unnecessarily mean at points. There were things i could have said in another way, but as Mike Manuel told me "Fuck it. That's how you were feeling then.". Which are words i've always tried to live by and in the last few months, being careful to tiptoe around this situation, i think i forgot about that. There is no chance of us being friends after that, and that's fine with me. After the way she had treated me i would not want to remain her friend. That doesn't stop this from hurting though. It's an emotional investment and it's sad when you don't see any returns for your investments. This is just something everyone has to go through and it's hard for me because i did invest so much time and emotion. Although as friends told me, i was in a bad situation and it's good that it ended before it got worse. That's brings me to a huge point in this blog. I know some of the greatest people in the world and i believe that the Good Lord continues to look out for me. Out of nowhere yesterday around 1pm i recieved a call from a friend i hadn't heard from in a while and she was a huge help. I went to a wedding with a group of great guys and even though they weren't aware of this situation just being able to hang out and have a good time felt like a huge relief. Then last night me and Mike drove around for hours talking about girls and life in general. Then after i got home around 3am i got to speak to Ashley about the situation and instead of going to bed upset i went to bed feeling confident and happy. I've had my heart broken for the first time in my life and it hurts bad. But it already feels better. I'm a blessed person and i'm a strong person. That's a great combination for getting over problems I've had. So what's next for me? I really don't know about the future, about girls and about love. I'm just going to let it happen as it happens and take what life puts in front of me. For today, i'm going to finish watching The Jerk on Comedy Central while adjusting my myspace. Then i'm going to my car and get the new Harry Potter book my little brother is letting me borrow. Then i'm going to lock myself in my room and watch all six episodes of FLCL on DVD. When i come out of that room, i'm going to be fine and life is going to continue. Nobody loves no one. Everybody gets their heart broken. So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near-- "Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry." "It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . ." "Yes, that is so," said the fox. "But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince. "Yes, that is so," said the fox. "Then it has done you no good at all!" "It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." (Ha ha, that did it. Antoine De Saint Exupery, you got me, you dead bastard!) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 1st, 2007
6:51 pm	Hypothetically Speaking, of course. So im reading this book right now called "Sex Drugs & Cocoa Puffs" by Chuck Klosterman. Rachel gave it to me for Christmas this year and it's pretty good. This guy has some pretty impressive insights on a wide variety of topics. However anything positive i can say about the guy is negated by the fact that when you get right down to it he's a pretensious, elitist snob who has chapters of his book devoted to the idea that Billy Joel is the greatest musician ever and Vanilla Sky was actually a good movie. In between each chapter he has little mini-chapters he calls "interludes" (ugh). These range from hilarious (Non-Fictional account of Ralph Nader using his powers as a consumer advocate to ask the NBA to examine the officiating in a 2002 Kings-Lakers playoff game), to the annoying (describing why he hates homeless people so much). There was one of these i really enjoyed though. It was a series of 23 hypothetical questions he claims to ask everyone when he meets them. Some of these questions are pretty awesome and i'd be really interested to see how the people on my friends list would answer them! So if you're reading these, reply with your answers and we'll all have a good laugh. Im gonna post my answers too, just at the bottom. 1.) Let us assume that you have met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume that he can do five simple magic tricks. He can pull a rabbit out of a hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into a joker card and two other tricks along a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he cannot learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER it turns out he's doing these tricks with real magic. It's not an illusion. He can actually conjure a bunny from nothingness, he can actually move this coin through space. He's legitimately magical but severely limited in scope and influence. Would This Person Be More Impressive Than Albert Einstein? 2.) Let us assume that a fully grown, perfectly healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with a thick rope. He is concious and standing upright but completely immobile. And let us assume, for some reason, every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in 30 minutes or less. You are allowed to wear steel toed boots. Would You Attempt To Do This? 3.) Let us assume that there are two boxes on the table. In one box is a perfectly normal turtle, in the other, Adolph Hitler's skull. You have to select one of these items for your house. If you select the turtle you cant give it away and you have to keep the turtle alive for two years. If either of these two parameters are not met you will be fined $999 dollars by the state. If you select Hitler's skull you are required to display it in a semi prominent location in your living room for the same ammount of time, though you will be paid a stipend of $120 a month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical. Which Option Do You Select? 4.) Genetic engineers at John Hopkins University announce that they have developed a so-called "super gorilla". Though the animal cannot speak it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, an IQ of 85, and - most impressively- a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be "borderline unblockable" and would average six sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirections plays). The gorilla has made it clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent. You Are The Commissioner Of The NFL. Do You Allow This Gorilla To Sign With The Oakland Raiders? 5.) You meet your soul mate. However there is a catch; every three years, someone will break both of your sould mate's collarbones with a crescent wrench, and there is only one way to stop this from happening: you must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear-for the rest of your life- sound as if it's being performed by Alice In Chains. When you hear Creedence Clear Water Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice In Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice In Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV it will sound like Alice In Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like the deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you). Would You Swallow The Pill? 6.) At long last, someone invents "the dream VCR". This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use the device if you agree to the strange caveat: When you watch your dreams you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. If you dont agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR. Would You Still Do This? 7.) You meet the perfect person. Romantically this person is ideal: you find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny and deeply compassionate. However they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson's gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once per month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film's "deeper philosophy". Would This Be Enough To Stop You From Marrying This Individual? 8.) A novel entitled Interior Mirror is released to mamoth commercial success (despite middling reviews). However a curious social trend emerges: though no one can prove a direct link, it appears that almost 30 percent of the people who read this book immediately become homosexual. Many of these newfound homosexuals credit the book for helping them reach this conclusion about their orientation, despite the fact that the book is ostensibly a crime novel with no homoerotic content (and was written by a straight man). Would This Phenomenon Increase (Or Decrease) The Likelihood Of You Reading This Book? 9.) You are watching a movie in a crowded theatre. Though the plotis mediocre you find yourself dazzled by the special effects. But with twenty minutes remaining in the film you are struck by an undeniable feeling of doom; You are suddenly certain your mother has just died. There is no logical reason for this to be true, but you are certain of it. You are overtaken with the irrational metaphysical sense that, somewhere, your mom has just perished. This is only an intuitive, amorphous feeling; there is no evidence for this and your mother has not been ill. Would You Immediately Exit The Theatre, Or Would You Finish Watching The Movie. 10.) You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says " I will now make that person a dollar more attractive." He waves his wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all: as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But, somehow, this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you are satisified. You can only pay him one lump sum up front. How Much Cash Do You Give The Wizard? 11.) Someone builds a crystal ball that allows you to see a vision of your own life in the future. It shows a randomly selected image of what your life will be like in twenty years and you can only see into the ball for thirty seconds. When you finally peer into the crystal you see yourself in a living room. You are twenty years older than you are today. You are watching a Canadian football game and are extremely happy. You are wearing a CFL jersey. Your chair is surrounded by CFL books and magazines and there are CFL pennants all over your walls. You are alone in the room but you are gleefully muttering to yourself about historical moments in CFL history. It becomes clear that, for some unknown reason, you have become obsessed with Canadian football. And this future is static and absolute: no matter what you do this future will happen. The optical portal is never wrong. Your destiny cannot be changed. The next day, you are flipping through television channels and randomly come accross a preseason CFL game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Knowing your inevitable future will you still watch it? 12.) You are sitting in an empty bar in a town you've never been in before. Drinking with a soft spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. "Be careful of that guy" you are told. "He is a man with a past." A few minutes later a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. "Be careful of that guy too," he says. "He is a man with no past." Which Of These Two Men Do You Trust Less? 13.) You have won a prize. The prize has two options and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon. Which Option Do You Choose? 14.) For whatever reason two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage of you from your actual life. Critics describe the film as "brutally honest and relentlessly fair". Meanwhile Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big budget biopic of your life, casting major hollywood stars as your friends and acquaintances. Though this movie is based on actual events the screen writers have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this ficticious account, but audiences love it. Which Film Would You Be Most Interested In Seeing? 15.) Imagine you could go back to the age of five and relive the rest of your life, knowing everything that you know now. You will reexperience your entire adolescence with both the cognitave ability of an adult and the memories of everything you've learned from having lived your life previously. Would You Lose Your Virginity Earlier Or Later Than You Did The First Time Around (And By How Much Time)? 16.) You work in an office and are generally well liked by your co-workers. However you discover there are currently two rumors circulating in the office gossip mill , and both involve you. The first being that you got drunk at an office party and has sex with one of your married co workers. This rumor is completely true but everyone generally assumes it's false. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars from the company. This rumor is completely false but your co workers have acceted this as factual. Which Of These Two Rumors Is More Troubling To You? MY ANSWERS!! (you all better answer too!) 1.)Yes, anyone who says otherwise is a liar (or a NERD!) 2.) I guess it would be selfish of me to not try and kill this horse. I just dont think that with steel toed boots and half an hour i would be able to take down a fully grown clydesdale. But i would try. 3.) The skull. I could always just buy a turtle. Plus i need the money. 4.) No. No gorillas in my NFL. And i would probably suspend Shawn Merriman too. 5.) I would have to discuss this seriously with my soulmate. I really do like Alice in Chains but if i had to hear them constantly.... i need some variation, you know? But if this person really WAS my soulmate and was able to make me happy maybe i wouldn't need music for that purpose. 6.) Nooooo. Sorry my dreams are either way to weird or way too personal. 7.) No, i obsess over weird little things myself. I would still marry her. 8.) Probably increase, just like i wanted to know what could possibly be on a tape or a website that would cause people to die. Which is why i saw The Ring and that other terrible movie. 9.) As much of a jerk as this makes me, i would probably watch the rest of the movie and try to rationalize my feelings as being "crazy". 10.) Probably 75$. Because it's right in between 50 and 100 dollars and we'd all like to look a little better. 11.) Lol, this is how i feel about watching hockey. In my Hurricanes sweater, by myself, happily mumbling statistics to myself. But i would turn the TV off, enjoy twenty more years of happiness before i became a blithering CFL fanatic. 12.) The man with a past. The man with no past would just freak me out. 13.) Europe for a year. Space is scary and overrated. 14.) I know the "right answer" here is probably the documentary. But i;ve lived that life, i dont need to see it again. Id be more interested in seeing who they got to play me and all my friends in the Columbia Tri Star dealie. 15.) Earlier. If i had all my memories and mental capacities still i'd (hopefully) get it done a couple years earlier. 16.) The stealing money one. I could probably get fired for that.... Everyone else reply with your answers! Come on it will be fun! I promise! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 16th, 2007
12:16 am	NCW This Friday, Jan 19th in Warwick RI!! This Friday night, January 19th, NCW presents Silence The Violence VI. It's a local show, Warwick RI to be exact, and anyone coming out to show some love would be greatly appreciated! Unfortunately we don't get to have too many shows in the R.I. so this is a rare chance to see Doug in action! If you need more info you can contact me, or visit the website: www.thencwonline.net Hope to see you all there! (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 6th, 2007
1:36 am	Three Blogs In Three Months!!! A Far More Realistic Goal! -Did you ever notice that your friends who own and read the most books are usually the biggest idiots you know? Is it just me or what? Here's an example. On the myspace profile you get a space for Books. Here are the book lists of two people i know. Person #1: "I hate to admit that im not that big of a reader, although I do like to read. " Person #2: "Books about cyberpunks. Books about anarchy. Books about propaganda. Books about music. The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, The Amber Spyglass, Virtual Light, Idoru, Neuromancer, Days of War Nights of Love, Fight Club, Welcome to the Monkey House, Tape Delay, RE/Search Guides" GGRRRAAAHHHH!!! Now try and guess which person i respect and which one makes me make noises like the one i just made. Just thought i'd point this out. I want you all to think about it. - What have i been doing lately, you ask? Why playing Final Fantasy IX, mien friend. Which is kind of weird because i have purchased Final Fantasy XII and had been playing for pretty much all of November. Then i just kind of, stopped. I don't know why. Final Fantasy XII is incredible. Mechanically it's close to perfect. The Square team fixed all of the issues people have had with the series since the first game. They have crafted an awesome story with a cast of stand-out, likeable characters, not one of them is a dud. The graphics and sound are awesome. But, i guess it just doesn't feel like a Final Fantasy game. It's missing the quirky humor of the better games of the series. Everything is so serious. There are a few jokes here and there but it doesn't have that magic that made those other FF titles seem innocently appealing. Somewhere along the line Square just kind of decided that all characters have to be badasses now (it started right after the success of FF7). Every character has to have a tortured past and a dark side. Even in games that should be cute, like Kingdom Hearts, Square becomes pre-occupied with guys in long black cloaks, giant swords, conspiracy theories, troubled pasts, and matrix inspired fight scenes. It sucks. FFXII isn't even that bad, the characters AREN'T trying to be bad asses, don't get the wrong idea, but it doesn't have that magical feel you used to get from playing a FF game. So i broke out the old PSone 4 disc underrated classic FF9 instead. And i am enjoying the hell out of it. This is what i've been doing on Friday nights lately, that and downloading HUSTLE shows on youtube. If you think this makes me a dork, uh i guess we've never met. I do way dorkier stuff than this. -I'm watching Conan O'Brien right now and he's got Cedric The Entertainer on who's staring in some steaming pile called "Code Name; The Cleaner" or somesuch nonsense. They're showing a clip of the movie and you know what they show? The same one joke they show in all the commercials for this film. "You have never heard of Dutch Chocolate? Riiiicola!!". Oh i get it, it's because he's black. I guess that's funny. Here's a hint for anyone planning on seeing this movie, if every commercial and ad and clip on a talk show you see of a movie contains the same one joke, the movie is going to suck. It might seem cute, but dont forget you have to sit through ninety minutes of that. There's a big difference between a 45 second TV spot and sitting in a dark theatre with no escape for two hours just to get to the "RIIIcola!!" joke. If you want to pay me ten bucks i'll yell "Riiiicola!!!" at you for 90 minutes. I'd be doing us both a favor. -I had a great christmas this year. I drove up to my grandparent's house with my little brother and sister in the car and introduced them to a great Christmas tradition. "Father Christmas" by The Kinks. This is why i love kids because you can show them something awesome and they'll usually love it. To get off topic for a second you know what i got my little brother for his birthday this year? The Beastie Boys' "Hello Nasty" CD, Star Wars Episode III on DVD and a glow in the dark Weezer shirt. That's the coolest kid at his school even if the other kids his age are into Hannah Montana or whatever bullshit. When they get older and start to appreciate actually cool stuff my little bro is gonna be leaps and bounds ahead of them. Back on topic, if you think you know adorable, then you've never been in a minivan with a 9 year old little girl singing "Father Christmas, give us your money, we'll beat you up if you make any noise!" and laughing maniacally over and over again. Well i think it's cute. Okay i pretty much have forgotten everything i wanted to write about at this point so im gonna call it a night. I'll be back again real soon if you're good. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 2nd, 2006
11:04 pm	Three Blogs in Three Days! That's the idea anyway... Livejournal is sending me straight to the ANGRY DOME!! Check the Myspace if you want the version with pictures containing Hi-larious captions! Halloween is the greatest holiday ever. It takes scary things like corpses, skeletons and black cats and makes them fun! Halloween is about eating candy and having fun. That's it. You go to parties, you go trick or treating, you dress up and have a good time. No family obligations, no religious undertones (well okay maybe a few), nothing you have to buy for other people NOTHING!! Just enjoying yourself and eating candy until you turn into a big fat slob (i call this the Mike Buccino diet). This Halloween was particularly good to me.For starters i took Monday, Tuesday and half a day on wednsday out of work. I took a trip up to Salem on sunday, then monday i stayed home and had a really good time playing poker with Chris, Jeff, Kay, Brandon and all the other regulars, plus i got to eat microwavable White Castle cheeseburgers and a bunch of Cherry Coke. We watched the monday night football game, which was awesome if you're a Patriots fan. Tuesday i went out and bought Final Fantasy XII and took Jesse and Anna trick or treating. This was great too, but it seems like Halloween is loosing popularity in my parent's neck of the woods. This year was even more desolate than last year. Me and the kids only saw two other groups of trick or treaters. One was a little girl with her father and the other was about 12 teenagers, none of which were wearing costumes, but i guess they count. All the old people on the streets were so disappointed. They kept talking about how no kids were coming this year. So the three of us got crazy ammounts of candy all those other kids are missing out on! Are you guys seeing this too where you live? Is trick or treating becoming uncool? Like i said on sunday i headed up to salem, with a half gallon of cider and an 8 ouce block of Colby-Jack cheese! (On vacation the diet goes out the window.) Salem is just kind of weird this time of year. You have a whole bunch of people flocking to this one town and when they get there they just kind of stand around going "okay....what's next?". There's just not too much to do up in Salem this time of year that you can't do any other time of year. But then someone shows up with a sausage and peppers cart and someone shows up with a bunch of glowsticks to sell (and glow hats, and those glow things you put in your mouth that must taste like some delicious combination of polyurethane and whatever cocktail of chemicals in there that make it glow, just the perfect thing to let your kids put in their mouths, parents!) and all of a sudden it's a happening. If i was a street vendor there i'd at least try to go with the theme. Like "Haunted French Fries!!!" or "Ghostly Fried Dough!!" or even "Bowls of Count Chocula!!". Why don't they have that at fairs? Cereal vendors. I'd buy that. They say they have witch trial re-enactments, but i've never seen one. They did have some kind of Drag Racing going on, but that's not very Halloweeny. Unless the driver is RAT FINK!! Also every year, without fail, you get a bunch of uppity religious types protesting homosexuality. I don't know why they pick Halloween to make their feelings known. Honestly, think about it for a minute. Halloween. "When is the best time to promote our anti-homosexual agenda... Hey, how about Halloween! You know where everybody dresses up and gets candy and people carve pumpkins and decorate their house with spooky stuff!! Yes.... that would be perfect. Nothing says "gay" like all those awesome things i just listed." They walk around with picket signs with clever slogans like "Homosexuality is a Sin", and "Will and Grace make baby Jesus cry". Whenever i see these people i feel confused. What on earth can drive a person to get up in the morning and put their cute little sign together and motivate them to get out in the freezing streets and yell at passers by about how much they can't stand this totally arbitrary thing, like another person's sexual preference. That's like if i went out and started screaming at people "I Hate Maroon 5!! They are not a good band! It's wrong to like them!!". The worst is when these people out in the streets have their kids with them too. I don;t know if it's more depressing seeing a ten year old holding one of the pickets or a father with a baby that can't be more than a year old strapped to him in one of those baby carriers while Daddy is yelling into a megaphone about AIDS being some kind of holy cleansing tool to rid the earth of the hated fag! Now THAT'S a guy who should be reproducing! To all of you believers in the theory of Evil-loution i present Exhibit A. Well getting back on topic, my trip to Salem is not as aimless as most of the other folks headed up there, because i go for the comics. Salem has this really nice comic store called Harris Comics and Collectibles. It's smaller than Sarge's (it used to be two floors, now it's just one), but it has more of an emphasis on actual comic books rather than DVD's and Anime and Gaming supplies which is a big part of Sarge's business plan. They don't carry nearly as many independent books as Sarge's does either but their back issue collection is excellent and they keep their comics in really good condition. It's definitely worth checking out if you're up in the area. So i went to Salem, drank some hot cocoa, bought some comic books and ate a caramel apple. But my trip was not yet complete. Oh no, before i left i had to pick up a CD of Inca Son. Which are the people who do the new age music and covers of classic songs but with PAN PIPES!!! It's great in a kind of cheesy way because they also use a lot of windchime noises. Waaaaay too many windchime noises. Like constant windchimes on some songs. Plus they add in a lot of bird cries too. Really makes you feel like you're right there. And by "there" i mean, on some old ladies porch and there are a lot of angry eagles flying really low. So laugh all you want but you know who has a cover of ABBA's "Dancing Queen" done with all Pan Pipe music? Not you, that's for sure. I went up there with Aimee who remarked when i bought the CD that "you're really unique like that. Most guys our age would just find it kind of funny and move on, but you actually buy the CD.". So i guess that's the difference between other guys my age and me; I take jokes too far. Also i've had an empty hole in my life for years and the only thing that can fill that gap, is the haunting melodies of the Pan Pipe. But it was a different type of music i was listening to as i headed home from trick or treating. Eager and anxious to play my brand new copy of Final Fantasy XII on Halloween night. I had turned on WBRU's nine o' clock news. Where they play some new songs and you get to vote on the one you like the best. The DJ let me know that tonight they would be having a very special Halloween edition of the nine o'clock news, featuring songs from the Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack...(oh, all right, i thought to myself. Preparing for a happy Halloweenie drive home singing along to a bunch of great Danny Elfman tunes)....Cover Albumn (what the hell?). That's right, the fun little Halloween movie people take way too far, is attempting once again to cash in. Well i gave a listen and got a real Halloween fright! -First Song - "This Is Halloween" as performed by Marilyn Manson This is the cute opening number of the movie, that moves through Halloween town and everyone in the town sings a little part. In the cover version only Marilyn Manson is singing. And he's using his monotone droning version of his voice, as opposed to the other two octaves he can hit: low, creepy whisper and shouting. This really hurts the song, as it's strong point is the changes in octaves and tone from character to character. In the movie version you have a bunch of different characters doing different lines like: -The clown with the tear away face -Oogie-Woogie -The Mayor -Those three Vampires -The old witches -That Fish woman, monster, thing -The little fat kid -Some scary trees You get the point, the list goes on and on. Then in the Marilyn Manson cover you get: -Marily Manson I cannot stress enough just how boring this song gets when you don't have the cool various vocal parts from the movie. On top of that this just isn't a Marilyn Manson song. The meter is too fast, there are too many words fit into the already quick meter and Manson just doesn't do that. He's at his best when he can be a little more methodical and pronounced not when he's trying to fit "something'roundthecornerthere, hidinginthetrashcan, waitingtheretopounceyou'lljumpandhowlandscream!" into three breaths in an already quick rhythm. Well i didn't have high hopes coming in and this certainly didn't exceed those. Lets move on to the next song. -Second Song- "Sally's Song" as sung by Fiona Apple Fiona Apple really is a singer with two distinct voices. One of which is dynamic and powerful, the one she uses in "Shadow Boxer" or "Criminal". The other gives you the experience of being right there with the singer and sharing needles to shoot up whatever is giving her that droning, white noise buzz of a voice. If you heard her cover of "Accross the Universe" you know what im talking about here. Well, guess which voice she uses for this song? It's like she's drunk or falling asleep or something. She slurs her way through what was before a really cute, sad song. Sung by Sally about her unrequited love for Jack. Fiona Apple just sounds bored. Yes Fiona we know it's a cover albumn from a soundtrack of what's supposed to be a children's movie, (speaking of which does anyone know any kids who actually like this movie? I know i hated it as a kid. It's short, boring and nothing happens. It's not funny, i don't even know if it's supposed to BE funny! I enjoyed it as i got older because it's fun and the claymation is cool, but i just can't figure out the target audience....) and we know it's just a cash in but do you have to rub our faces in it during the actual song? Apple sounds like she can't be bothered to put in any effort and is going to crawl back into her alley, take a bunch of horse tranquilizers and have a nice nap. Which is a nice feel to a song about heartbreak and unrequited love. -Third Song- "What's This?" as performed by Fall Out Boy Fall Out Boy? Was Yellowcard unavailable? Did Sum41 want too much money? Hawthorne Heights couldn't pull of the complexities of this song? What can i say? A cute moment/song in the movie turned into so much pop-punk garbage. Homogonized and bland with none of the charm or feeling of the original. Just from the three songs i listened to i can safely say i now probably hate The Night Mare Before Christmas. Thanks, you jerks! I give this albumn my lowest review score possible: twelve Black Eyed Peas out of twelve. Suitable only for: -Fat Goth Girls -The Deaf -The Dead -Torture Camps -Earthworm Herding (they will move in the direction away from the terrible noise) -Fatter Goth Girls -Nick Taucek (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 15th, 2005
12:34 pm	You're Attitude Is Welcome, Welcome That's the best song i ever forgot about for a long period of time. I really liked that Alien Ant Farm.... i'm gonna but that CD this weekend, definitley. So i want to apologize to everyone for being a lazy myspace/livejournal person again. I had a pretty hot streak going there for a while. Updates at least once a week, fun fun fun! But unfortunately, as with almost everything, my fickle attention span has shifted away from this myspace place and onto my gameboy. Instead of updates and checking my groups and causing holy wars over my top 8 and leaving my friends comments it's all Mario 64 and Final Fantasy Tactics advance. So i apologize for being a crappy myspacer and thank you for all the folks sending me messages that cheer me up throughout the work week and im too much of a self-absorbed ass to reply to! Im gonna try a lot harder to atleast update the blog and respond to comments and messages i get left. Im really not a bad person, ive just got no attention span and my gameboy has TWO SCREENS!! TWO! WOW!! So i mentioned top eights a few sentences ago. These things are tearing myspace apart! The ability to edit these has been the cause of so much heartache and personal strife for so many people. In the time this has been allowed i saw a series of arguments at the roast house that literally lasted half an hour. An unlike a normal argument where there are two opinions this was just bedlam! Sean was yelling at Tim, JC was yelling at Ruy, Mike at Rich Bass, absolutely crazy! But i avoid this stuff. How? Because i just left my top eight the way it was, with one minor exception. I moved Jon Thornhill and Jenn next to each other because i thought that would be cute. Also, i when people ask why they aren't in my top 8 i just lie to them and tell them because i left it the way it was when i first got the myspace with one minor exception; I moved Jon Thornhill and Jenn next to each other because i thought that would be cute. And whilest you're wrapping your brain around that one i'll use this opportunity to escape any further questions! "This bird's gonna fly!" Im sorry but i will never own a pink shirt. I bring this up because i went to old navy to buy some clothes because most of mine are full of holes and pink is really the new thing. Like pink formal button up shirts, and pink polo shirts. And you see the kids walking around in them and you just know they love Hawthorn Heights and their friends probably call them J-Dog and it makes you want to piledrive them in the middle of the food court. I have no desire to own anything that is that pink. Unless it has Bret Hart on it. Sorry ladies! Speaking of the ladies, i know im not much of a ladies man, unlike my good friend MTE (really i know that guy!). But over the years i've managed to develope a few "moves" i like to use that are sure-fire ways to make that special girl you just met swoon! Ive been talking them over with some people over the past few weeks and thought id list them here for any other Young Stallions looking for a way to a girls heart (Go through the ribs, use a knife stupid....a BIG KNIFE!)! 1.) When your girl takes her pants off immediately grab them and run over to the window and throw them out. Then look at her and say "well i guess you're staying here now!". Then wink. Then SCORE! (Note: This works especially well from the second floor and up) 2.) If you're watching a movie or something keep touching her skirt and when she asks whats up tell her "i bet i can fit in that". She'll laugh and think you're adorable then tell her "no really! I could! Your shirt too!" And when she thinks you can't tell her you'll prove it. Then you put on all her clothes after she takes them off. Next do a cute impression of her in a really bad feminine voice. You'll share a good laugh while she's in her bra and panties and you're practically there! Just don't screw it up by saying something like "you know, me and grandma used to play this game too!". Wait, better yet DO say that! 3.) Drug her. Well im out. Those are my three moves. One of them will work. I guarantee it! I have no desire to ever have a stupid nickname. So please, don't give me one. That's a sure fire way to get a Fist Class ticket on Punching-You Airlines. Nicknames im trying to avoid; "T-Bone", "Nate-Dog", "J-Dog", "C-Dog", "Z-Dog", "Smitty". I will, however, answer to "Big Hungry" Doug Jorgensen. Because i've got an appetite for hot dogs and an appetite for football! So who's up for sledding?! (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
9:19 am	Post 5: Reaping The Rewards Of Good Deeds Done Wrong, Volume VI: Heart Of Fire, Soul Of Steel Well the Yankees have been out of the playoffs for a while now and a bunch of people have been asking me "aren't you disappointed?". I have to say that, no, no i am not. It was a hell of a season and while the ending wasn't exactly story book, there's always next year for number 27! If you were a Yankee's fan this season is absolutely one of the best we've seen in a while and just because there was no exclamation point on the ending, there's probably and elipses (you know the thing that goes "....."). Coming from last place to grind out the rest of the season chasing a very very good red sox team and in the finale taking the American League East again was amazing to watch. The various Yankees who stood up and put the team on their back at various times; Tino, Cano, Giambi, Small, Chacon all great stories. This season was incredible and the off season is going to be just as entertaining. "Well Doug, if you aren't upset about that what ARE you mad about?" Well how about this? http://www.fightersgeneration.com/fightgen/games/namcovscapcom.html HOW AWESOME IS THAT!! And we won't be getting it over here in America (as of this time). AAAAhhhh!! DAMMIT! My dream of finally settling some old scores dashed! Just imagine the possibilities! Ryu versus Pac Man! Mega Man versus that Bear in the Tekken games! Haggar versus The Prince Of All Cosmos!! Son of a bitch! Oh and if im gonna be angry and upset i guess we could talk about the Patriots too! As of this time they are 3-3 and i dont know if they have the stuff to win ten straight :(. I guess the injuries finally caught up to them (Rodney Harrison, Randle Gay, Tedy Bruschi, Richard Seymore, Corey Dillon, Matt Light) plus the retirement/not being re-signed of Teddy Johnson and Ty Law have really put the Pats in a tight spot. I understand that in football this is going to happen, but its just so disappointing it has to happen to MY team. On top of that if the Pats cant pull off another Super Bowl (which looks about accurate right now) they'll never be considered THE top dynasty in NFL history. sigh..... Hey i got the new Coheed And Cambria! Entitled Good Apollo, Im Burning Star IV, Volume One: Fear Through The Eyes Of Madness. Now that's a title! It's really cool because if you follow the story of Coheed and Cambria this third albumn (fourth part of the story) is more of a personal story about Claudio and the challenges he's faced with as the Crowing. It also talks a lot about his relationship with a Miss Erica Court adding to the more personal perspective of the new albumn. So it's more of a relationship albumn than the last one, which was more of a mighty space epic! All this really does is slow the albumn down a little. While this definitely doesn't have a song that can match up with "A Favor House Atlantic" it's still a good collection of songs. When viewing both albumns as a complete project Burning Star IV might have an advantage as it stays strong throughout where by comparison Silent Secrets kind of peters out around the middle of the albumn (if you havent heard it yet, dont worry they come back STRONG around track 10!). Just like i did when i first heard In Keeping The Secrets Of Silent Earth 3 I have to recommend that everyone go out and hear this albumn. I understand that this isn't everyone's cup of tea, but these guys put so much god damn effort into their art that you have to be impressed. I can't think of another band ambitious enough to try and create a story accross four albumns and however many comic books we'll eventually be have! So once again if you're a big fan of sci-fi or the melodramatic or guys that sound like Geddy Lee go out and pick up this albumn! Current Mood: listening Current Music: Coheed And Cambria- Ten Speed (Of God's Blood And Burial) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 26th, 2005
4:03 pm	Im starting to crack up! I just saw a bear drive away...he put out his arm to signal a turn! The Infamous Free Doug Summers T Shirt (not actually free) http://www.cafepress.com/xzonestore.25293058 I had heard a rumor that people were having trouble finding the link hidden within the maddness of myspace so there it is! Come on, thats awesome! Admit it! Everyone should own one of those! I already bought mine and if that shit comes in before the court date, then its on man, IT IS ON!!!!!! So buy a shirt, all proceeds go to some website. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
8:19 am	You'll never take me alive coppers! No wait i didnt mean that! Put the guns away! Im giving up, see? Considering it's gonna be all over Cops sometime next season i figure id open up and make my official statement regarding the events of this previous weekend. You're all gonna find out about it eventually and it's better you hear it from me than your father, that drunk. Driving Pat Murphy home friday night i was pulled over when a cop ran my plate and noticed my liscence was suspended. I was arrested cuffed and put in the back of the car. Cop: "We're gonna tow the car so your buddy is gonna have to get out. Do you think he can find a ride home?" Me: "Maybe, but he's in a wheelchair so you're gonna have to put that together first." Cop: "WHEELCHAIR!!!!???!" So then i explained to the guy how to put pat's chair together which he had to keep stopping and asking questions about, confusedly. But eventually they got it and pat got a ride home from another nice officer. Now the cops asked if it would be okay to search my car and i told them it would be fine. As they were going through it they found the mysterious white box i keep in the trunk and slowly opened it. In the back of the car, watching this all go on, i had to smile because there was an offhand chance that the contents might terrify them. For in that box lurked A VENTRILIQUIST'S DUMMY!! They didnt get scared and i was a little disappointed. They didnt really search the dummy either....hmmm (note to self: become addicted to drugs, then hide stash inside dummy. Heh heh heh.) So finally we took off for the station. The nice officer explained what was going to happen from there and when we got to the station id have to be put in ankle cuffs. I inquired if i was gonna have to stay in a holding cell until someone came to get me. He said "no, i dont think there'll be any need for that, you seem like a good kid.". I was all like; sweet no rape for me tonight! As we were driving i began reflecting over the fact that this was my second time in the back of a cop car and the seat seemed so much smaller now. I guess that means im growing up. Becoming a man. We got to the station and i was let out and led into the intake area or whatever you call it. The cop decided he wasnt actually gonna put the ankle cuffs on me and let me out of the handcuffs too. Then he pretty much just let me wander around while he did some paperword. I looked over at the three cells. One was empty, that would be my new home, had it been necessary. The second had a pair of shoes and a belt outside of it, my new neighbor. The third had a crudely hand drawn OUT OF ORDER sign on it. Me: "Excuse me, officer, is that cell really out of order?" Cop: "Yeah, well. You could say that i guess...I mean...someone died in there a few days ago." What a way to go. Massive Alcohol consumption induced heart attack in a holding cell in the Hopkington police station. Poor bastard. So they took my stuff out of my pockets, i got fingerprinted, we took the mugshots. Funny thing about the mugshots. People always look terrible in them and i was no exception. It's weird because in all the mugshots you see, their hair is out of place they havent shaven, usually they look really tired. It was late sunday night. I hadnt been at home the night before and had gotten very little sleep so i was tired as heck, plus it was two am. In addition i hadnt brushed my teeth for a good 30 hours so i decided to keep my mouth closed. Since all i had done all day was watch football and play ESPN NFL 2k5 i hadnt combed my hair. And shaving? Forget it, id do that in the morning before work! So i guess the reason everyone looks bad in those mugshots is because no one ever leaves the house thinking, if im going to jail tonight, am i gonna look good for the camera? So after the intake process and explanation of what was gonna happen they just let me hang out in their office. We shot the breeze and i read over some law books and stuff. It was actually nice and relaxing. I was released without bail with the promise that i would appear at my court date. Aimee Sharpe came to pick me up and had been worried sick which i thought was really sweet and explained to her how the whole experience wasnt really that bad. And it wasnt. What im worried about is the trial on September 29th. Because thats where i get sentenced. There's a possiblility i could loose my liscence for a good long time, but fortunately theres also a possibility i wont. My legal strategy? SURPRISE WITNESSES! Each one more surprising than the last! That Judge wont know what hit him! So the repercussions of this are as follows: -Definitely no driving before the court date and possibly none after. -Which in turn makes a bunch of other things difficult -Im in Warwick with my friend Tim who works at the same place that i do and can drive me back and forth. He and his wife are awesome and have made me feel really welcome in their home. -I probably wont get to see Ryan before he heads back to Oregon :( -Im probably gonna miss a few shows -Im inconveniencing almost everyone around me. -My bad boy stock shot up about 100 points (this isnt vanity or an idea of my own design ive had a number of girls tell me this) all because i managed to fight the urge to cry in the back of that police cruiser! Im a real tuffy! -I cant stay in my own appartment and enjoy myself. Of course there are other problems like the fine ill have to pay and the tiniest of possinilities that i could spend some time in prison (maximum sentence for this offense is 30 days in the pokey! And you know why they call it the pokey! Hint: the other inmates "poke" you with knives or their penises. It has nothing to do with the orange horse from Gumby, which was my first assumption.). Im okay for now though, if you need to contact me IM me (Dougzilla13) or email me (Dougzilla13@hotmail.com or theperfectdoug@yahoo.com) If you need a phone number ill give it to you when you email me. So....who's up for a conjugal visit? Current Music: Jail House Rock- Elvis (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 15th, 2005
1:35 pm	M. Night Shalyalyman Post!!! -Why is it whenever anyone so much as mentions the word "soccer" some other person feels the need to point out that in the rest of the world it's called football? I HATE THAT!!! -I've come to realize that im really bad at doing two things at once. If you've ever talked to me on the phone while im watching TV then you already know that. Considering my job requires me to both type and talk at the same time im learning to adjust but it's a slow going process. Usually when someone calls in to the call center the opening i use is "thank you for calling Met Life Disability". However the other day i was reading my new issue of Playstation Magazine and greeted a customer unfortunate enough to dial into my extension with "Good morning. Thank you for calling Metal Gear Solid.". Needless to say, before i could realize what i did, they hung up. -You know i've never once had to dress up like a woman to sneak into something or to get information out of someone. Seeing how often this scenario happens in cartoons/comic books/video games/movies/television series'/anything with Jackie Chan in it, I feel im not getting an accurate representation of life. I actually feel a little ripped off... -Does anyone know a really good porn based on Xena: Warrior Princess? Because i think that's something i could really enjoy. Im just saying that if they did it with the Osbornes, im sure Xena is out there somewhere...I just need to find it! -I dont care what anyone says, Ben ROFLberger sucks. The guy went 9-11 and had like 200+ yards in his first game. When your QB only has to throw 11 passes, he's probably not working that hard. Damn steelers. -Going back to my inability to focus on more than one thing at a time, i just finished reading the new Harry Potter book (which was really good) and i cant tell you how many times i had a problem seperating myself from it when i would get a call. I kept wanting to call people "Hermoinie" or "Dumbledore" and when people weren't happy with their claim id be all like "petrificus totalus!!! You've been jinxed!". -Metal Gear Solid is so good it's ridiculous. I just started playing it again and im still finding stuff i didnt know about before. It's not like it's all that interesting but i flip out because it's Metal Gear and that makes it awesome. Last night i found a little sequence where Snake cuts his hair for like 10 seconds (IM NOT MAKING THAT UP). I totally flipped out about how awesome it was like some half retarded fan boy. Just sitting there, in the dark....alone. -It's officially been a year and the stuff from Tietam Brown still totally horrifies me. Go out and read that book, it's amazing in a "this is the most disturbing character ive ever read/seen/experienced in my life" kind of way. -I need a really good haloween costume this year, any suggestions? -THEY WERE ALL DEAD THE WHOLE TIME!!!! (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
1:52 pm	How To Make Your Robot Uncool I was over at pat murphy's house a while ago and we were just hanging out shooting the breeze and watching the tube. While in the back of the room Kyle was hunched over pat's computer staring at the screen in silence. I kept looking back at him and he just kept staring, as if hypnotized. I finally got up and saw that Kyle was reading page after page of Diesel Sweeties, a horrible horrible webcomic (as opposed to all those hilarious webcomics out there). After fifteen minutes of this i finally got up and asked him: "Kyle, why are you reading that?" "It's funny" "Are you sure? I dont hear you laughing or anything. Besides that i think scientists have actually proved that Diesel Sweeties is one of the five unfunniest things on the planet." "Just because im not laughing out loud doen't mean it isn't funny." So i looked over his shoulder and read one. Some guy was like "I'm gonna go to art school" then this girl says "why, to study art?" and he was like "yeah, the art of sex" and then she's like "i have to go smoke now" then a robot shows up and says some stupid shit or something and all and all it's the worst thing you've ever read. So i returned to the couch and Kyle kept on reading. This went on for like another hour. He never once laughed, or smiled. Then he got up and left. I think the thing i hate the most about the internet is it's like a giant expansion draft for the "talent pool" and every idiot who ever had his drunken friends laugh at one of his jokes is now a comedian and every idiot who ever drew something that kind of looked like inuyasha is now an artist and every idiot who ever downloaded acid pro and threw some MASHUPS of two terrible bands together is now a musician. I think there was a point in all this, but i cant really figure it out...... (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
1:23 pm	Talk With The Dead! Yeah honestly i have nothing to post about. This post has been brought about by boredom. But lets see if i can't find something to talk about.....hmmmm. -When i die i really dont want one of those gay-ass funerals where everyone is like "he was such a great person" blah blah blah. One of my greatest fears is dying young and having all the people i hated show up and talk about what a great guy i was. That will really piss me off. So i need everyone reading this to make sure that doesnt happen. Certain people (you know who you are) have been given instructions of what to do immediately following my death. More specifically who to let in and who not to let into my funeral. Because there is no greater joy for me than that. Call it petty, but i think putting people in the most awkward situation of their life after im gone will bring me great joy. Guy I Hated: "Hi, I'm here for Doug's funeral." Close Friend I've Entrusted With THE LIST: "Name?" Guy I Hated: "(gives name)" Close Friend I've Entrusted With THE LIST: "Sorry, you're on the list. He specifically asked that you not be admitted and wanted you to know that, even in death, he still hates you." Guy I Hated: "Uhhhhh...." (Then he stands around outside the funeral home, shocked that a person would acutally do that, while people walk by and stare wondering "hey i wonder what that jerk did".) I'm also really worried that for my eulogy someone is gonna get up there and go "he loved everyone so much!". Which is totally wrong. I love certain people a lot, but others i flat out hate, and i hope this is addressed. I just dont want people's last impression of me to be the wrong one, that i was some brain dead moron who just loved everyone he came into contact with for no damn reason, with a twinkle in my eye, a bounce in my step and a frog in my pocket! I'm not a goddamn Norman Rockwell, full of moxie and mischief! I'm misanthropic and, quite frankly, easily pissed off. While we're on the topic id really like it if someone did something fun with my corpse. Like run into small businesses and throw my body on the floor and yell "Zombie Attack!!!" and run away. Also someone else needs to be taping this and please send it to MTV's Jackass, because i dont pay no attention to those disclaimers and i KNOW they'll put ME on the air! Also when i die i want to be given back to the ocean. Not my ashes though, just toss my body in there and hopefully i'll wind up on some shore and be able to really traumatize some folks. And if anyone is stupid enough to return the body to you then you better make goddamn sure you repeat this process until they stop returning my corpse! Also, if possible, try to get my cadaver his own show on public access. I'm not sure what it would be exactly but i think just a shot of me sitting on a chair with a table next to it with a headset phone on would be great. And while i sit there have the phone number for said headset phone flash on the bottom of the screen over and over again. Then people can call in. We need to set up some way for the phone to pick up too, maybe a switchboard off camera, operated by a lone high school student (make sure the high school kid is the only other person in the building besides my corpse and if he tries to leave, inform him that he wont get credit and have to go to summerschool). We'll call the show "Talk With The Dead". And everyone who calls in will be able to say they've talked with the dead. NOW THAT'S A MOTHER FUCKING SHOW!!! And needless to say that if i know that im going to die im going to try my damndest to contort my face into a horrible expression of terror and anguish. If im not able to do this i need you to do the next best thing, open my mouth and eyelids. Well i guess i found some things to talk about. I also wanted to discuss how awesome the upcoming NHL season is going to be and how exciting the preseason has been, but now i have to get back to work. Oh yeah and i found those mood and music things everyone uses after all these years. So now you can look forward to more bullshit no one cares about to begin with. I need to find a really irritating set of icons to use for my moods too, if anyone knows one, help a brother out here. P.S. I might disappear, dont come looking for me. Current Mood: Explodey Current Music: I have to throw up now Poopey (19 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 29th, 2005
1:43 pm	Best....Avatar......EVER!!! Yes folks, thats a drawing of yours truly punching a horse in the face. Drawn during some down time in a game of Dungeons and Dragons by the obscenely talented Miss Georgia Dunn. But thats not all! Three Reasons Even Red Sox Fans Must Hate The Red Sox 1.) Manny Ramirez (ha ha ha, he hates this team so much, making him my favorite red sock!) 2.) Bronson Arroyo's Albumn of covers 3.) Number three is a picture that i dont have as of yet, i need assistance from a person with a digital camera, if anyone is interested in this undertaking contact me! It'll be great though! Did you hear that someone stole that painting of The Scream? That's awesome. Art theives are my favorite kind of theif. Seriously they have to be all cool and suave with hi-tech gadgets and a bevy of beautiful women. That takes talent too, stealing a beloved objet d'art like that. Plus how cool would it be to know that guy? You go over to his house and he's got The Scream hanging above his fireplace, that's totally bad ass. It's not like the guy who goes into Wal Mart and grabs a car battery, brings it back to his trailer and uses it as a footrest or a doorstop or something. These art theives have class! Im normally not for stealing due to the financial reprecussions felt throughout an organization. Like if you steal from a store do you know who feels that impact eventually? The working stiffs like you and me. Not "the man" not "corporate", the first person who gets a pay cut due to losses is the bottom guy on the ladder. But with art thieves i fail to see who they're hurting financially if they steal from a museum. And seriously, we all take art way too seriously. It needs to be stolen everyonce in a while, shake things up, you know? Why are we still going into space? Now i hear that foam had broken off of this latest shuttle and it might end up dooming the whole crew. Do you know what kind of a budget NASA has? If we were to put that money into practical problems we still have here on earth we could do a lot of good! We've still got cancer and AIDS folks, lets get cracking on those. What are we hoping to find out there? Life on other planets? Why? If we master intergalactic travel, as screwed up as we are, before them what could they possibly do for us? What kind of amazing knowledge will they be able to share with us? Astronaut: "Hello my alien friends, i come from a planet where we have mastered interplanetary travel accros light years! What can we learn from each other?" Alien: "We like to kill each other with sharp sticks!" Astronaut: "Oh no, the folly of space!!!!!" (Astronaut is immediately killed) If im the first one to find an alien planet and land there i'm going to declare that it's actually India and im gonna stick an American flag in the soil. And when the aliens come over to see what all the fuss is about im gonna go "Welcome my Indian brothers!!" and im gonna get everyone i know to call them Indians. SPACE INDIANS!!! Are we gonna throw our garbage away up there? Have it floating around, not decomposing for eons? Or is that why we want another planet? To use as our own private Earth Dump? Thats not cool, the Indians are gonna have a problem with that. I only took one astronomy class in college but it taught me everything i need to know about space. And here it is: -It's huge. -Everything out there is trying to kill us. What is the terrible secret of space? DONT FUCK WITH SPACE!!! (27 Comments |Comment on this)